‘Little Miss Too Nice’

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This blog post is very personal to me cause it is dedicated to all those people who let me down. This will be the first and last time I’m going to talk about it. I just want to express and let go all the pain I’m feeling right now.

I bet all of us know what betrayal feels like but I never expected it will come from those people who are really dear to me, who I knew for so long, who I trusted so much. I can accept everything if it comes from people who hated me rather than for those people who I treated like siblings. I was speechless.

My problem is I always care, I always do. Even for those people who don’t deserve it. If my friends need me, I’ll be there in a heartbeat cause I know what it feels like to have no one. If you need a listener, I’ll be there to listen and comfort you cause I know what it feels like to have no one to talk to. When I love, whether it be relationship or friendship I tend to give myself too much to the point, I was being taken for granted. I put too much trust on people even higher than Mount Everest cause I never had a single doubt about the friendship we had. But surprise! I know now that just because you treat them well with all your honesty and soul it doesn’t mean they will also do the same for you. Life is unfair. Why do I always need to learn things the hard way?

You can never really trust people these days. Even the people you thought will be there for you until the end will drop you down. I swear. So from now on, I’ll do what’s best for me. I will let go all the people who taken me for granted and never really appreciate me. The show is end, my dear ‘friends’. I don’t deserve all of these bullshits cause all I ever gave was only love and genuine friendship. My hands are already full with so many things going on with my life right now. I don’t want to waste another time for fake people.

So lesson learned, at the end of the day all you’ve got is yourself and your faith. Don’t put too much trust on people. Learn to be silent and be your own hero. I can’t kill all of you literally but I will treat all of you like a dead person. I will just completely ignore you like you never existed in my life. You won’t hear a thing from me starting today. You all made me look so stupid. I just can’t believe what you did to me cause you’re the least people I thought who will ever betrayed me.

I know now who are really true to my face. I really appreciate those people who says the truth no matter how hard it is than to comfort me with lies. Thank you for saving me from the people I thought who cares for me. Truth hurts but I’ll always choose pain and honesty than faking it. So fuck fake friend, fuck fake love. For one last time, TANGINA NIYONG LAHAT.

P.S I’m so sorry for the cursed words. I just badly needed an outlet to vent all my emotions but I’m fine now.

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Being at 20-ish

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‘we’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It’s miserable and magical oh yeah..I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 22. Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you.’ 22- Taylor Swift

This is the phase where you are almost legal in everything that the world has to offer. Loans, credit cards, alcohol, driver’s license, bars, casinos etc. name it! Yep, we’re ‘that’ legal now. We don’t have to make fake ID’s anymore in order to enter a bar or buy cheap spirits. Sounds fun, right? But also overwhelming, cause from now it means we’re ‘adults’ and we have to be responsible for ourselves. (omg! Hi Mom, please read my blog. I don’t want to be an adult anymore, help! sending SOS loljk)

Nobody said it will be these confusing cause the decisions I’m going to make today will either make or break me in the future. For the past few months, I was a ‘damsel-in-distress’ trying to figure out what the hell am I gonna do with my life? I’m also wondering how come some of my batchmates are already married with kids while the others are still busy getting wasted every weekends? I belong to the latter, okay. We’re still kids who are so confused and lost trying to act like an ‘adult’.

They say 20’s are your selfish years to build, learn and explore. Being in the foreign land, makes it much harder for me to know what am I supposed to do cause I don’t have any idea what’s going on. It took me a year to realized what I want to do with my life. For the first time, I am so sure with my decisions. I finally found my reason to stay. Congratulate me, guys!

I know the journey would not be easy. It might be tough and hard but I want to pursue it. I finally understand the feeling of waking up each morning with goals and dreams to achieve. I’m not living my life like a ‘jellyfish’ anymore. This time I’m taking control with my life. I might be too ambitious but the hell this is what I want and I’m going to make it happen no matter what it takes. So young folks, ‘chase dreams, not people’ cause there’s more to life than love.

We’re still new in these whole adulting phase, so don’t be so hard in yourself if you’re still feeling lost. You might be drained, confused, lost, and stuck but I tell you, it’s completely okay cause it’s all part of the process to grow and learn. As the saying goes ‘if you’re struggling, it means you’re progressing.’ So don’t give up yet, we’re just starting. Don’t forget that we can always rewired, rebuild and restart our life cause we’re still young we’ve got time.

xoxo

How to love?

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We all have our fair share when it comes to love and heartbreaks. I learned everything in the hard way. I admit it, I am self-proclaimed ‘hopeless romantic’ blame the kdrama, novels, movies and grandparents. A big believer of one great love, destiny and fate that no matter what our concept about love there’s still one person who can love us unconditionally.

That’s why when I love, I love hard. Really hard. I became completely insane and stupid. I can forget everything including myself for the happiness of the person I love. I’m willing to go extra miles for them. They always say ‘when you love you should always leave something for yourself.’ But how?! I don’t know how to love half-heartedly. I tend to give my everything even if it’s mean I am empty, cause I love them that much.

After my failed 3 years relationship, I was not the same anymore. Before, I love without fear. But now, I’m scared of loving the wrong person again. I don’t want to get hurt again because I don’t know if I can take another heartbreak. I don’t want to invest time and feelings for someone who will just leave again. I don’t want to waste my time for someone who will just play games. I’m tired of that. I had enough of it. So as much as I can, I will guard my heart and wait for the right man.

I sometimes ask the Most High, I deserve the love I am giving to everyone but none of it seems come back to me. I know I am worthy but why? I know I sound so bitter right now. Maybe someday, one day all the love I give will finally come back to me. In the right time with right person and all the questions I have in my mind will disappear.

After all, we all just want to love and be love.

xoxo

Culture: Valentine’s Day in Japan

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Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! As the day begins, I online as usual and my timeline was flooded with faces of couples expressing their love and gratitude for each other. Some seems so in love but of course, some are bitter cause this is the time of the year where life slapped into your face how single you are.

Let me tell you about my culture firsts, Valentine’s Day back home is all about the spirit of it. I remember back in college, it’s so normal to see ladies around the university carrying stuffed toys, flowers and chocolates while holding hands with their boyfriends. The main gate in front of school are flooded with flower vendors. But not just in school, everywhere you can see couples celebrating it in the streets, public transportation, malls, restaurants, parks and even on social media. Too bad if you’re brokenhearted, I must say just stay at home if you don’t want to see an eye sore. Filipinos are sweet, warm and romantic so it’s quite expected that Valentine’s Day is big deal and well celebrated.

The Japanese culture when it comes to Valentines is the exact opposite of my culture. I was shocked when I learned that the women here are the one who gives chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Okay, culture shock alert! Since, coming to Japan I learned to be more open-minded but there are things that still surprised me. In the Philippines, if a woman do these ‘giving chocolates on Valentine’s Day to the man’ she will be labeled as ‘easy-to-get, desperate, walang delikadesa, bitch, slut and cheap’ because we’re so used to the norm that it’s always the man who will take actions, do the pursuing and not the other way around. This culture is well-embedded in me. So, the first thing comes into my mind was: “BUT, WHY?!”

I had the chance to ask my Japanese co-worker about it cause I was really curious. She told me that they do it because this is the chance for a woman to do the ‘Kokuhaku’ or in English, confessing your feelings to the one you love or like. I was even more blown away with her answers cause again why is it the woman who will do the confession?! It’s a man responsibility and duty in my own culture. I asked her if they aren’t shy to do it. She said yes, they are also shy about it because what if the man reject her feelings or turn away but they still do it for their feelings to be known.

My conclusion about it is women here are so brave and the Japanese men are living the dream! Imagine, Japanese men won’t have a tough time pursuing a woman cause woman can also do it and it’s well accepted. Women can do the first move without judgments from the society. Japan is also a conservative country but when it comes to dating culture and the like, they are more open and equal compared to my culture where it’s always the man. So, men in the next life pray to God for you to be born as Japanese. HAHAHA lol

xoxo

5 Surprising things about Japan

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Hello everyone! My blog today might be late reaction cause if you’re my frequent reader you already know this 2017 will be my 2nd year here in Japan. I think I should wrote this a little earlier but I’m not emotionally stable last year cause that was my adjusting phase and I don’t want to sound so dramatic.

But let that sink in first..second year? for real?! OMG! Time flies real fast. Two years away from home. Two years of love-hate relationship with Japan. Two years of being (feeling) brave. Two years of knowing myself. Two years of struggling how to survive. Two years of finding a reason to stay. But no regrets, cause as the saying goes ‘life starts at the end of your comfort zone.’

So here are the list of things that truly surprised me when I stay here for a year:

Disclaimer: what you about to read are solely based on my own experiences and opinions. It doesn’t speaks for everyone else. Happy reading! ^^

5. Karaoke Pubs

Karaoke back in the Philippines is actually pretty unique where the whole street is your stage and the entire neighborhood is your audience. But Japan karaoke pubs are way too fancy! Each rooms are designed differently, some even have stages where you can let that inner Rihanna come out or just sing at the top of your lungs. The mics are rechargeable, tablets to select your song not remote. Hungry? No problem. They have menu for snacks and even drink bars. So, if you plan to go to Japan, karaoke hub is a must experience! Go for it!

4. Public Transportation

I was really surprised how Japan’s public transportation are really well-coordinated. The bus and train schedule are really followed. If it says 10:00am, it will really arrived at 10:00am! That feels like a magic for me cause I’m used to inconvenience back home. The seats are comfortable, adjustable seats for PWD and when you pay for bus fare they also use machine. Commuting here is nothing but convenience, no traffic jams and rude drivers.

3. Technology

Japan=high-technology. This is really true that most of the time I look like an idiot trying to figure out how to use certain stuff cause it’s too high-tech for me. I have a real good example here. I just got my driver’s license back then, my friend and I went to restaurant and I have to park my car at Pay Parking System where there’s a lock beneath your car. For 10 minutes I’m idle cause I have no idea how Pay Parking System works that I had to Youtube it! HAHAHA yes, I did it and for paying imagine a machine that all written in kanji’s. Imagine me, trying to google translate every button there cause I can’t read it. My gosh! struggle is for real. But yes to end the story, I made it with the help of Youtube and google translate. lol

2. Toilets

Public and mall toilets here looked like a celebrity bathroom. I swear! heated-seats, automatic flush and trash bins, powder room and even the designs are too glamorous. I also had a good laugh about toilets here. My mom is already living here in Japan for almost 20 years now, we were at the mall’s toilet. She’s calling me and asking me where is the toilet’s flush?! I find it really funny! She can’t find it cause each stalls are really well-equipped.

1.Suicide Rates

I don’t watch news here but I read it through articles online. I grew up in the Philippines and maybe my religion really plays a big role why I’m too surprised about it. For Catholics like me, suicide is a great sin to God cause we believe that only Him can take away our lives.

I know this is Japan, we have different culture and perspectives towards life. I know I’m not in their shoe to give opinions about it. I just can’t help but to wonder how can someone easily take away their lives like that and give up. Go to Philippines, see how Filipinos struggle everyday to bring food to the table, how students crossed dangerous bridges, roads and even swimming to river just to make it to school, how youths are not even studying instead doing dangerous works for a very low pay cause of poverty. I, myself have my own battles inside me but yet, we don’t give up on life just like that.

I hope Japanese can realize how lucky and comfortable their lives are. They can even receive support from their government. Everything in these country is made for the convenience of their citizens. If they only take a look and appreciate all the little things about their country, it will be a different story.

xoxo

Life after College

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Graduation. Diploma.

The two words all students aiming for. The day where all the hard-work will be paid off, sleepless nights will be worth it, to give back to our parents for all the sacrifices and start the dream we all have for ourselves. The day when my name was called to receive my diploma in front of my parents and everyone on stage, I felt like I’m on the top of the world. The tears of joy on my grandfather’s face, knowing he is proud of me that I didn’t failed him. Everything feels so right and nothing is impossible. After graduation, I already have a plan on what will I do. I was young and naive to think all of it will come easy. I still remember the day before our graduation where our professors told us that ‘real world’ is way different. Back then, I can’t fully grasp what they mean but now, I completely understand it.

Four years of my college life has gone by so fast, I never knew I will miss the university life cause we all hate school, right? Now, I’m working whenever I see teenagers in school uniforms I can’t help but to feel nostalgic. After graduation, some of my blockmates already got married and started to build their families. While most are like me, still getting wasted every weekend and figuring out what to do with life. Being in early 20’s is so confusing. I feel so lost but must trust the process. I believe where I am right now is where I’m supposed to be.

I still remember the day when our professors used to criticize our hard-earned business plans, products and projects saying it’s too ordinary, not innovative enough and tactless. I thought they are being too mean back then but no, real world is meaner. Humans can be harsh and not everyone will like you and that’s completely okay. Your mother didn’t brought you in this world to please them. Keep focus and mind your business. Let them keep on talking and just prove them wrong.

I still remember the day when I was so brokenhearted when I failed my Law subject, I cried. A lot. I felt like a total failure thinking I can’t graduate on time. But let’s all laugh together, cause I failed my JLPT exam today which is way too painful that I can’t even cry. I want to sing Coldplay’s Fix You at the top of my lungs right now lol. Also, when I failed my Japanese’s driver’s License exam for 9 times. Yes, 9 fucking times! But didn’t gave up though, on my 10th try, I passed. Moral lesson: ‘it’s okay to rest, but never stop.’

I still remember all the body pains we got from working on our Bazaar all day and night thinking how life can be these hard. But no, we’re just a cry baby because now the body pains I’m getting from working is never ending. Sometimes, I just want to cry but got no time for that. lol

Real world is tough. Life is tough. So get tougher. I know there are many things I need to learn more about life. After all, I’m just new in these whole ‘adulthood’ world. I just can’t help but to reminisce how university shield us from all the bullshits of the world. Almost, 20 years of our lives we’re just taught to raise our hands in classrooms and follow instructions. Then suddenly, after graduation we’re given free will with no manuals and instructions. Maybe that’s also the beauty of life, we need bad days to appreciate the good days.

Animo, La Salle!

 

Stereotyping among Filipina?

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Disclaimer: The content of this post are solely based on my opinions, experience and views. It doesn’t speak for everyone else.

Before I leave Philippines, I bid farewell to my friends when they knew I’m going to Japan they all exclaimed: ‘Mag-Japayuki ka?! (are you going to work as Japayuki!?)’ I rolled my eyes.

I searched on google what ‘Japayuki’ really means, it says it is a slang word of Filipinos for entertainers. Since coming to Japan, I knew that night clubs are completely legal and acceptable. Though, I don’t really have any idea what they actually do. I was even surprised when I went to Osaka, there are different types of clubs you can choose from. There are high-end night clubs where the girls are really pretty and look sophisticated. There are also where the girls are all chubby and fat, maybe for customers whose fetish are big women. R18 clubs, I don’t know what they showcase there. Also, entertainers here are not all women, even Japanese men do this kind of work! It was my first time to saw that kind of night club. I was blown away how big these industry is.

So back to my sentiments, I have nothing against ‘Japayuki’. I knew one Filipina who worked as one before and she’s been so nice to me like an older sister. But what I hate is the insensitive comments I’ve heard from some ‘Japayuki’. I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked if I don’t really want to work as one by co-Filipina.

‘You know you’re such a waste. You’re young and beautiful you can make a lot of money at the club.’

‘You know what go with me! I will teach you.’

‘You really don’t want to work at club? It’s easy money.’

‘Convince her. She can make a lot of money there.’

Seriously, those are really rude and insensitive. I hate the fact that I have to explain myself everytime I encounter such comments. I never experience working at night club and never will I. It all runs down to personal choice. Even though, I know it’s easy money it is something against my morals and values. We all have different upbringing and beliefs. If you can’t understand, just respect and keep your mouth shut. Also, people not all Filipina that work in Japan are entertainers. There are teachers, engineers, factory worker and soon nurses. So please, stop stereotyping and educate yourself.

There are also stereotyping just because a Filipina women married Japanese men is because of visa or money. In my previous work at the factory, I received an indecent proposal from old Japanese man asking me to marry him and in exchange, I won’t have to work for the rest of my life. I don’t know if it’s a joke but I find it really disturbing and disrepectful. It was degrading and scary. I was speechless. I want to slap into his face my visa and my car. But on the other hand, for sure there are Filipina women who marries Japanese men for love. Come on, humans. Let’s be nice to each other.

xoxo

OFW Diaries

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So my blog today is all about OFW on the point of view of a daughter. For those who doesn’t understand, OFW stands for Overseas Filipino Workers, according to Philippine Statistics Authority there are 2.4 million OFWs as of 2015. So imagine how many Filipino children has no parents? has no husband/wife? has no son/daughter? It’s heartbreaking to know due to poverty in the Philippines, many are forced to work outside the country just to provide for their families. 

Since I was 2 years old, both of my parents had to work abroad. So apparently, I grew up with my grandparents together with my siblings and cousins. I had an awesome childhood cause of my cousins, imagine we’re six children living under one roof. It was instant bestfriends, ‘barkada’ and enemy at the same time. Even up to now that we’re all grown ups, we’re really close and hang out once in a while. It actually felt awkward the first time we have to live together with our parents abroad cause it means we’re going to live in different houses from then on.

What does it feels like to be an OFW’s child? When I was a kid I’m used to it, my parents going and leaving the country. I don’t even remember that I cried when they leave. I didn’t even look for them cause growing up, I am happy and contented with my life. I have grandparents who love me dearly, cousins who are always there for me, friends who truly cares for me. What more should I asked for? But I admit it was still hard, as a kid I just had questions why I don’t have parents during PTA’s at school, why I don’t have a mother who supposed to teach me how to comb my hair, why I have no father to protect me from all the bastard who will promise you all the grandest things in life and turned bullshits. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not angry at them. I completely understand why they had to leave. I just don’t know what to feel for my parents cause my entire life they are not with me physically. I pretty much learned things about life and love the hard way.

At the present, I lived together with my parents here in abroad. The whole adjustment to different country is not a joke. But the most difficult part for me was actually living together with them. I know they are my parents and I am their child, but they don’t truly know who I am. They don’t know what my favorite food is, how lazy I am in the morning and why I don’t like coffee. They don’t know what annoyed me the most and what makes me happy. They don’t know who my bestfriend is. They just completely don’t know me and what’s makes me. You get me,right?

So for the parents planning to leave their child for the greener pastures abroad. Think thrice because you know, you can’t turned back all the lost time you have for your children. I can’t tell my mom who the person I like, when was my heart first broken, when I cried alone at nights. I can’t asked my dad, how to know if a man is serious with me. You know the conversations and wisdom they should give to me. Now that I am an adult, I promised to myself if I ever get married and have children, I won’t leave no matter what. No amount of money can make up for lost time. I will take care of them personally cause I know how hard it is growing up having no parents. I understand life in the Philippines is hard. I’m actually thankful to Japan and my parents cause without them I probably won’t even finished highschool. I even graduated from one of the pretigious universities in the Philippines because of them. They provide everything I need and lived a very comfortable life. I am forever grateful for that. But weigh things, do you really want to be strangers to your own child? I am speaking through experience.

xoxo

Exploring Osaka

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The whole transition of being a student to working was not easy but the only thing I love about it is the salary because it means, I can finally fund myself for all the travels I’ve been dreaming about since I was young. It’s always been my dream to travel the whole world. I don’t mind spending all my money in exchange of the experiences and memories I will make to every places. My first stop was Osaka, Japan I chose it cause I really love food. We all know that Dotonbori, Osaka is famous for all the food streets and night markets. Not to mention I heard from the locals, Kansai people are really fun to be with.

Some of the foreigners think Japan is just a dream destination in Asia due to the stereotyping that everything here is expensive. But trust me, coming from ‘half-local’ ‘half-tourist’we can make ends meet if you’re streetwise. I did a lot of research and read blogs about Osaka beforehand. I got a lot of information with the help of internet and came up with a ‘game plan’ on how to cut-off possible expenses. For two days and one night, I only spent 30,000yen or Php14,000 including accommodation, foodtrips, ‘omiyage’ or ‘pasalubong’ and train tickets. So what are we waiting for here are the adventures I had in Osaka, Japan.

Day one

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This is a Ramen shop along Shinsaibashi-suji street. This meal is consist of kimchi, fermented bean sprouts, soup and juicy beef meat. Also served with rice for only 1,000yen.

We arrived in Osaka-Namba Station at around 10AM, almost lunch time for Filipinos we’re so hungry and just tried the first restaurant we found. But no regrets, it was awesome! I was really in Osaka cause everything is delicious plus it is really cheap. Though, the ojisan who cooks the food is kinda aloof I don’t know maybe cause we’re all foreigners that’s why, but no big deal. His food is really yummy. If I had the chance, I will be back at this ramen shop.

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The famous cotton candy at Totti Candy Factory. Photo grabbed from @geeeliiiiic instagram.

I’m not fan of sweets and desserts. It’s nothing special for me the colors are just there for the design. I thought it has different flavors each color but no. You can choose from 3-4 colors, 4 colored is the most expensive. I don’t know how much cause I didn’t bought it. But yeah, it is cute for instagram. lol

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Photo taken from Osaka Aquarium Kaiyukan

So after satisfying our stomach, we went to Kaiyukan. From Namba Station to Kaiyukan, if I’m not mistaken it only costs 240yen. The entrance fee is 2,300yen including this Sta. Maria cruise ship sightseeing. The sea always makes me happy cause it reminds me of my homeland where seas are everywhere. It makes me feel home. But yeah, it was chilly day when we went there. Winter plus the cold breeze, can you imagine? lol

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The famous Pablo cheesecake. Photo grabbed from @geeeliiiiic instagram

My friends says all the good things about this. So my expectations was really pretty high. She actually said if I tasted Pablo ‘cheesecake will never be the same again’ but my expectations was not met. Yes, it is delicious. But I was expecting some kind of ‘magic’ lol I don’t know maybe just because I’m not a sweet tooth.

After the foodtrips, we went to Sam and Dave bar. I went to music festivals back in the Philippines and attended band gigs, but it was my first time to go to an actually bar and it is in Osaka, one of the big cities in the world! Yes, it was fun and the experience was great. You can lose yourself and forget everything but it’s draining. I know it’s not for me. I didn’t liked what I saw. All I saw was empty souls looking for temporary comfort and warmth from the people who they barely know. Poor souls. But I don’t care that’s their life, after all I was there only for the experience. The most fun part of this bar experience is the drunk moments of my friends. I will forever remember it, too funny!

So yeah, our first day in Osaka ended at 4am. We really make the most out of the time we have. We pretty much did everything on the first day. I’m so exhausted but happy.

Day two

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THE BEST RAMEN EVER! located at Dotonbori Street

I don’t know the name of the ramen shop but it is really famous. They have four branches in Dotonbori Street, one of their branch has 4 floors! If you see a 3D dragon holding a ramen bowl this is it! For only 990yen, I tasted the best ramen ever in my entire life. I swear! Also, the takoyaki along Dotonbori Street, I didn’t managed to take a photo of it. I don’t eat Takoyaki but after trying it, Takoyaki will never be the same again.

Dotonbori Street is a real food haven. You can also buy ‘omiyage’ ‘pasalubong’ here for your family and friends. There are many gift shops to choose from. But I must say, everything is so delicious and fucking good! I love Dotonbori.

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Umeda Sky Building before the sunset

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The Observatory deck of Umeda Sky Building at night

We got here at 2:00PM, pretty early cause we had nothing to do on our second day. We almost did everything on our first day. It has ¥1,000 entrance fee quite cheap also. We had to leave at 6:00PM to catch our train bound to Nagoya. When we’re leaving Umeda, we’re surprised how long the queue is. I suggest to come early cause most people come late afternoon.

Umeda Sky Building has chain love locks. You can buy the chain locks there. I don’t know how much, didn’t bother to ask cause I don’t have a lover lol. Also, you can take a picture in the deck and the background is the chain love locks. Romantic isn’t it? Sometimes life will slap into your face how single are you. Right? Life is a bitch. lol

This was our last stop and definitely my favorite part of the whole Osaka trip. I love the skyscrapers, skylines, view, sky. It makes me feel so tiny and realized the world so vast to confine ourselves in one city. It feels like the world is telling me to go and explore more ‘I will wait’. The view is really breathtaking and jaw-dropping. Japan architecture never fails to amaze me. I love the feeling of being at the top of world. If you take a look at it, you can see how endless Osaka is.

Oh Osaka, I love you now. Thank you 2016

Tip: You don’t need to study or speak Japanese cause everyone can speak english here. I’m surprised cause in Nagoya, nobody can’t (based on my experience lol)

xoxo

5 Things I learned While Living In Japan

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The bravest thing I ever did in my entire life is leaving my comfort zone, my homeland and moved to Japan. As a 21-year-old woman, fresh graduate from college I knew nothing back then. I don’t have any idea how or where to begin my life abroad. I don’t even know why I decided to live here or what am I doing here. I put myself in a situation I thought was easy,  as crazy it may sounds but this is the truth. So here’s a list of the learning  I had while I’m on my adventure:

  1. Life is not all about ‘rainbows’ and ‘beers’

I realized that life can be tough because back then, I have friends to accompany me always drinking all night and having the best time of my life, a family to shelter when everything seems so bad and grandmother’s dishes to comfort me when I am so exhausted from school. I live a very comfortable life. But since moving here, my world just turned upside down.

2.  I learned to trust myself

I became honest to myself and with my feelings. I know now who and what I want in my life, where I will stand to someone and until when I should give. I found out that I am a strong woman, because here in abroad I don’t have anybody but myself. So I don’t have any choice but to be firm with my decisions and wish the best luck.

3. I learned to be a domesticated woman

Before I don’t know how to do laundry, budget my money and how to cook. Since, I am now an ‘adult’ living in a strange land. I learned all of this from scratch. Google and YouTube is my hero when I want to cook something for myself because my favorite dishes are not available in town. Now, I still suck at this but I am improving. Hey, I am trying. Okay.

4. Chase your dreams

I am just a kid, trying to figure out what to do with life. After a year staying abroad, I realized that there is no such thing as being ‘ready’. Before, I always make excuses and say there is always a next time. But here, the world is so fast. I have to get things done right away or else I can’t keep up. That’s why I do things with my heart beating so fast, hands so cold and stomach cringing. The result, I did it! I made it. Trust yourself, believe that you will survive anything. Just keep going.

5. Comfortable being alone

The longest commitment you will ever have is with yourself. So why not, discover and really know who you are? As woman in her early 20’s, I think this is important. I made a lot of mistakes before when it comes to relationship. I don’t know who I am, what I want and where I want to be because I always seek for others. I let other people define me, to make decisions for me. Now that I understand life ‘somehow’, I can figure out whether I am choosing a person based on loneliness or because I am really into him. Thanks to Japan, I am better version of me now.

Definitely, that one-way ticket I bought last year really rock my world. I came here with no plans at all. I didn’t think about it. I just packed my bags, bought a ticket and leave. I am not sure if I am being innocent or stupid there. I think it was only me, leaving a country with no plans at all. But I tell you, it was all worth it. That was the best decision I made in my entire life. So if you ever had a chance to leave your comfort zone, do it. Don’t overthink. Just do it. Believe me you will survive.